Victimized but Not a Victim

The story of Bathsheba concludes with the unlikely rise of her son, Solomon

Read 1st Kings 1

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Transcript

Sermons from Mission Hills UCC

San Diego, California

Rev. Dr. David Bahr

david.bahr@missionhillsucc.org

September 1, 2024

“Victimized but Not a Victim”

1st Kings 1:1, 15-21 – Common English Bible

King David grew old. The years had caught up with him. Even though they piled blankets on him, he couldn’t keep warm. 

15-16 Bathsheba went at once to the king in his palace bedroom. He was so old! Abishag was at his side making him comfortable. As Bathsheba bowed low, honoring the king, he said, “What do you want?”

17-21 “My master,” she said, “you promised me in God’s name, ‘Your son Solomon will be king after me and sit on my throne.’ And now look what’s happened—Adonijah has taken over as king, and my master the king doesn’t even know it! He has thrown a huge coronation feast—cattle and grain-fed heifers and sheep—inviting all the king’s sons, the priest Abiathar, and Joab head of the army. But your servant Solomon was not invited. My master the king, every eye in Israel is watching you to see what you’ll do—to see who will sit on the throne of my master the king after him. If you fail to act, the moment you’re buried my son Solomon and I are as good as dead.”

We left off last time with the prophet Nathan’s clever confrontation with David.  David proclaimed outrage over a rich man for having taken a poor man’s only lamb to feed the house guest of the rich man when he could have used one from his own flocks and herds of cattle.  David was enraged at such an obvious injustice.  And Nathan said, but you are that man.

The story of David and Bathsheba is one of the most infamous in the Bible, but it often dismisses what David did as just being “one of the boys” – a mid-life crisis – while Bathsheba is portrayed as a slutty seductress trying to attract David’s attention in order to climb the social ladder.  Sure, David had Bathsheba’s husband murdered to get him out of the way, but those kinds of things happen.  The gravity of the story is further diminished by calling David and Bathsheba’s encounter an affair instead of sexual assault.

Clearly, that’s not how Nathan saw it.  Nathan proclaimed that God’s judgment for David was that his wives would be taken from him, given to his friend who would have sex with them in the middle of the street, in broad daylight, because David tried to steal, rape, and murder in secret.  It is disturbingly explicit and astonishingly casual about the impact on Bathsheba, not to mention his other wives.  Again it’s like, these things happen.  

When confronted, David acknowledged his sin and was forgiven.  On one side of this story is forgiveness.  A reminder that while forgiveness does not erase what we have done, nor all the memories and pain, yet we are free from forever being defined by what we did.  On the other hand, while David acknowledged that he sinned against God, notably, he did not acknowledge harm to Bathsheba.

As one of our worshippers last week responded very thoughtfully, “I can’t help but notice a glaring absence - the victims.  David gets a stern talking to and then is immediately forgiven.  His child suffers illness and dies for David’s actions.  But his child is a person, Bathsheba is a person, all of the people involved in the care and love for the child are people.  Where is their love and forgiveness?  David gets to keep his wives, kingdoms and palaces, and gets off pretty scot free.”  

She made this brilliant analogy.  “Imagine David and Bathsheba in a fender bender.  David is in his big, luxury SUV and rear-ends Bathsheba’s old Prius at a traffic light.  Bathsheba’s Prius is totaled, David’s SUV has a dent but is otherwise fine.  David gets a stern talking to by God and has to keep the dent on his SUV, but is forgiven and moves on.  Bathsheba can’t get to work, can’t make money, and therefore can’t afford her child’s medical bills.  God forgiving David doesn’t fix her car or bring her child back to life.  She still has to deal with the consequences of David’s actions, arguably, more than he does.”  Absolutely correct. 

So then, she asked, what about everyone else?  “Does all of their suffering and trauma suddenly go away because God forgave David?  ‘Sorry about the destruction of your lives and the trauma you’ll carry for the rest of your life, but God forgave me so it’s all good!’  The victims are collateral damage in the perpetrator’s story.  It’s something that happens all too frequently.”  Where is their justice?  Where is justice for Bathsheba?  Well, perhaps not justice exactly, but today is the story of how Bathsheba found her voice and how she used her power and authority.  

The rest of the Book of Second Samuel is pretty standard fare:  wars with this group and wars with that.  But interspersed are stories of David’s dysfunctional kids, including Absalom, son of his third wife, who murdered his half-brother Amnon because he violated Absalom’s sister Tamar – another tragic and disturbing story tucked away in this narrative.  David neither consoled Tamar nor punished Absalom.  

Perhaps Absalom could be forgiven for murdering his half-brother since he was standing up for his sister, but later, Absalom violated his father’s wives.  It’s really all so disturbing I hesitate to bring it up, especially Tamar, except that it once again illustrates that the Bible is real – not necessarily historically accurate, as I’ve said before, but the stories it tells are the kind of tragic and triumphant stories in real life.  These are deeply flawed people which means they were no better than we are – though I certainly hope we can aspire for better!  

Altogether, David had at least 17 sons by 8 different wives, plus sons by his concubines.  It’s about as dysfunctional a family dynamic as you can imagine.  Solomon was son number 10, far from the obvious heir apparent, but supposedly, though no one else seemed to know, David had promised this to Bathsheba.  There were constant intrigues and power-plays by the wives, each trying to put their son up front so that David would anoint him as his successor. 

Amnon was the oldest, but when he was murdered by his half-brother, Absalom became the oldest.  But he got impatient and greedy and attempted to knock his father off his throne, and briefly succeeded, only to die in a tragic “accident” involving his long flowing hair and some tree branches.  No one knows what happened to number 3.

Now we’re down to the fourth oldest and he decided to simply take things into his own hands.  Adonijah declared himself the next king.  He was like Prince Charming, handsome and charismatic, and when he went on a victory tour around the kingdom, people fell under his charms.  The priests and generals were tired of all the shenanigans of David’s sons and welcomed this news.  To secure his place, Adonijah held a great feast for all the most important people who addressed him as the King of Israel.  That might have been it but Bathsheba was not going to let it be it.  She had a plan and went to David to tell him what was going on behind his back.

By this time, David was an old man.  He is described as so old – how old is he?  He could never get warm, even with a pile of blankets on him.  Their solution was to find the most stunningly beautiful woman in the entire kingdom to lay in the bed with him.  They add some very odd and seemingly unnecessary details that included, “but they didn’t have sex.”  TMI.  I didn’t need to know that.

Bathsheba’s plan:  she went to David and told him what was going on – the banquet, the priests and generals calling his son king.  With lots of flattery and strategy, she told him that Solomon, who was still just a teenager; she told him that Solomon wasn’t even invited to the banquet but you promised me that he would be the next king.  She played up the way David was being disrespected in order to generate sympathy and outrage.  Then she summoned Nathan and he asked, “have you named Adonijah as king?  Why didn’t you tell me?”  It was perfectly executed.

David called for his officials and told them to take Solomon to a sacred site in the Kidron Valley and immediately anoint him king.  Then blow the trumpet and proclaim all over Israel, “Long live King Solomon.”

When Adonijah found out, he knew his goose was cooked.  He could be executed for treason so he fled for the tabernacle and held on to the altar where he could not be touched.  Finally, Solomon promised to spare his life.  But then he asked Bathsheba to obtain permission for him to marry that stunningly beautiful young woman who had kept David warm.  Why?  I don’t know, but such a request was as good as making a claim on the throne, so Bathsheba pounced on another way to eliminate the competition.  He was found guilty of treason and…  You know. 

Bathsheba found her voice and used what little power and authority she could muster.  She may have been victimized, but she was not forever a victim, though we may ask once again, what about the other people?  

And we’re back to a question I asked a few weeks ago:  Is there anything redemptive in this story?  Or is this simply the story of how Solomon rose in his dysfunctional family to become the unlikely new king?  We’ll learn more about him next week.

Of all the egregious things that have happened in these stories for the past few weeks, to Bathsheba and Tamar and Michal and everyone else casually tossed aside, one of the most egregious things in my mind may surprise you.  I have a bone to pick with God.  God forgave David too soon.  I’m all for forgiveness, but it has often led to some really bad news for victims, especially of abuse.  People told to forgive their abusers – whether spouses, parents, priests and ministers, or strangers.  God forgave them, why can’t you.  Just get over it.  But this is disrespectful and it’s harmful. 

God forgave David too quickly, which of course is not something I can decide, but I can plead, don’t rush healing – and don’t send people back into harm.  Listen and don’t dismiss them or offer excuses – like all the horrible things said about Bathsheba.  I can say it to all of us, sit with people as long as they need.  Take as long as you need.  It’s like grief.  Hold out hope, but don’t demand a timetable.  Perhaps the good news of God forgiving David so quickly is that forgiveness is not like a check list.  Do this, this, and this, and it’s over.  

Thank God there is healing.  And thank God there is accountability.  There is forgiveness.  And there are amends to be made.  All of those together are the good news – the expectation of accountability as much as the promise of healing.  The freedom of forgiveness as much as the obligation to participate in repairing the world and the people we have harmed.  Bathsheba deserved that but she also demonstrates:  we may have been victimized, but we are not only or forever victims.  I ask, what is your power?  

And like David and so many others, we may have harmed someone – on purpose or by being careless.  What are your amends to make?