What Good is Forgiveness?

David is confronted by what he did to Bathsheba.  And God.

Read 2nd Samuel 12

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Transcript

Sermons from Mission Hills UCC

San Diego, California

Rev. Dr. David Bahr

david.bahr@missionhillsucc.org

August 25, 2024

“What Good is Forgiveness?”

2nd Samuel 12: 2-7 – Common English Bible

 The rich man had a lot of sheep and cattle, 3 but the poor man had nothing—just one small ewe lamb that he had bought. He raised that lamb, and it grew up with him and his children. It would eat from his food and drink from his cup—even sleep in his arms! It was like a daughter to him.

4 “Now a traveler came to visit the rich man, but he wasn’t willing to take anything from his own flock or herd to prepare for the guest who had arrived. Instead, he took the poor man’s ewe lamb and prepared it for the visitor.”

5 David got very angry at the man, and he said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the one who did this is demonic![a] 6 He must restore the ewe lamb seven times over[b] because he did this and because he had no compassion.”

7 “You are that man!” Nathan told David. “This is what the Lord God of Israel says: I anointed you king over Israel and delivered you from Saul’s power.

King Saul had fallen out of favor and the prophet Samuel was tasked with finding a new king.  We’ve been following this all summer.  God sent Samuel to the family of Jesse where he stood in front of each one of his sons but none was the right one.  We know the story well, that David was pulled away from daydreaming and chasing butterflies and stood in front of Samuel.  He was proclaimed God’s choice.  We know how David was extraordinarily brave, how he stood up to a giant no one else dared approach, how he led soldiers into one battle after another and kept winning against immense odds.  He was far from perfect, and perhaps the most egregious example of that was the story of his abuse of power last week.  

The story began, “In the spring of the year when kings go off to war,” King David stayed behind, but he was soon bored.  He rambled around his palace and went up on the roof to survey the beautiful new city he established in his name – behold, the City of David, Jerusalem.  From his perch high above everyone else, his eye caught a beautiful woman bathing on her roof.  He learned that her name was Bathsheba and that she was married to one of his soldiers, but he wanted her for himself and sent for her.  He took advantage of his position as king and she got pregnant.  Her husband was away at war, so David’s solution to cover this up was to bring her husband home for R&R.  During his time of rest, their “relaxation” would result in a child and no one would be the wiser.  

But Uriah came home and didn’t think it was fair for him to enjoy the company of his wife while his fellow soldiers were still fighting.  David sent him back into battle with a note for his commander to put him at the front line.  When Uriah died in battle, David felt relieved.  No one would learn what he had done.  He took Bathsheba as his wife and she bore their son – one he could pass off as legitimate, as long as no one counted how many months she had been pregnant.  But, God knew all this had happened and was, let’s say, “unhappy.”  I’ll say more later.  Enter the messenger of God to deliver that news.

Nathan was a prophet in the court of King David, surrounded by “yes” men, sycophants, who said things full of fawning and flattery to stay in the king’s good graces.  They said anything the king would like to hear so they could enjoy the privileges of their proximity to power.  Nathan wasn’t one of those guys.  Somehow, he had the courage to tell David the truth and David trusted that he told the truth.

One day Nathan came to David with a case for him to settle.  It was relatively straightforward.  A rich man had taken the lamb of a poor man because he was too stingy to take one of his own to feed a visitor.  The rich man had plenty of flocks of sheep and herds of cattle.  He wouldn’t miss a single one.  The poor man, however, had only one single lamb.  He loved it so dearly, she ate from his table and slept in his arms.  Nathan asked, what should we do?

David was enraged.  He called the rich man demonic and proclaimed – the man must restore the lamb seven times over because, he said, “the rich man had no compassion.”  Interesting use of words.  Not because what he did was an outrageous display of greed and privilege.  He had no compassion.  

Then Nathan took a deep breath, adjusted his robe, tightened the belt, and dared say what would have gotten almost anyone else killed – “You’re that man.”  But he wasn’t finished.  Nathan reminded him, “You’ve been given everything you’ve ever wanted” and spoke these words from God:  “I anointed you king and delivered you from Saul’s deranged jealousy.  I gave you a home and many wives to embrace.  I gave you the kingdoms of Israel and Judah.  And if that was too little for you, I would have given you even more.  You could have just asked.  So why have you despised me and done evil in my sight?”  In other words, “What is wrong with you?”

David listened to this blistering attack and then Nathan proclaimed God’s judgment – a shocking, extreme take down.  “Right in front of your eyes, I’m going to take your wives away and give them to your friend.”  But God isn’t done.  “Your friend will have sex with your wives,” but wait for it, “in the middle of the street, in broad daylight, because what you did in secret, I’m going to do in the light of day in front of all of Israel.”  I swear to God, I mean, I swear to myself, “you are going to pay for this.”  Talk about making it personal!  Wow.  God was, I can’t really say it in polite company… but God was p.o.’ed.  

Imagine David’s shock.  His mouth wide open.  And what could he say in his defense?  He had been exposed.  He gave no excuses.  He didn’t deflect.  He didn’t compare himself to someone else – but what about…?  He simply agreed.  You’re right.  What is wrong with me?  “I’ve sinned against God.”

And without skipping a beat, without sending David away for a time out to think about what he had done, Nathan said, “The Lord has removed your sin.”  Wait.  That’s it?  However, he added, “that child will die.”  And Nathan went home.

What a story.  A rich man stole the lamb of a poor man because he was too stingy to take one of his own to feed a visitor.  A man so rich he had flocks of sheep and herds of cattle.  He wouldn’t miss a single one.  On the other hand, the poor man had only one single lamb whom he loved so dearly, she ate from his table and slept in his arms – such a sweet and tender description.  And Nathan told David, that was you.  That’s what you did to Uriah.  That’s what you did to Bathsheba.  That’s what you did to God.

Nathan went home and David stood there.  Psalm 51 is entitled “A psalm of David, when the prophet Nathan came to him after he had been with Bathsheba.”  David stood there and cried out:

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your faithful love!
     Wipe away my wrongdoings according to your great compassion!  

2 Wash me completely clean of my guilt; purify me!
 3 Because I know my wrongdoings,
 4 I’ve sinned against you.
     I’ve committed evil in your sight.
 That’s why you are justified when you render your verdict,
     completely correct when you issue your judgment… because 6 You want truth even in the most hidden places;

In other words, our mothers might have even told us, do what’s right even if no one else knows.  But when we don’t, since none of us is perfect, we can say, as David pleads,

 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God;
     put a new and faithful spirit deep inside.
 11 Please don’t throw me out of your presence;
     please don’t take your holy spirit away from me.
 12 Return the joy of your salvation to me
     and sustain within me a willing spirit.
 

Beautiful, sincere, a heart-felt psalm that makes more sense when put in this context.  And yet, forgiveness did not erase the consequences of what he did.  Back to the text, it continues, “the child that Uriah’s wife had born for David” – notice, not Bathsheba’s child as though she had consented to it – “David’s child born of Uriah’s wife became very sick.”  David beseeched for the boy and refused to eat; he spent every night sleeping on the ground.  On the seventh day, David saw his servants talking among themselves and asked, “is the child dead?”  They replied, yes.  He stood up, bathed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes.  The servants didn’t understand why he would do all these things now that the child was dead.  Why eat now?  David said, “I can’t bring him back.  One day I’ll go to where he is, but he won’t come to me.”  And then he went to comfort Bathsheba – she didn’t ask for any of this.  Soon after, she gave birth to a son and named him Solomon.  God loved him.  And also, despite everything, God never stopped loving David.  This is a real story, by which I don’t mean it’s historically accurate.  It’s a real story because it’s raw, it’s realistic.  And because this story is honest, it’s hopeful.  

I went to the prison again this week to meet with gay and transgender inmates eager, excited to talk about their faith.  And this time, a few straight and very macho-looking fathers came too because they want to better understand their gay children.  Tears in their eyes, they said, “I want to be here to help support them.”  

The nearly universal story of these beautiful souls is rejection – rejection from their families and rejection by their churches for their gender identity or sexual orientation.  We may think the world has changed, but for others, this is still a too familiar story.  But, their sincere hope is that God hasn’t rejected them, some in fact have fierce faith that God has not and will not reject them.  I marvel at and am moved by their embodiment of the truth that they are more than the worst they have done, for which they take accountability.  But with this group, platitudes don’t matter.  We talked about making chosen families wherever we are and they connected with Jesus hanging from the cross, telling John to take care of his mother.  While he was being executed, abandoned by his closest friends, Jesus took care of his family.  Realistic, they thought, and hopeful.

David was honest.  It was my fault.  He was forgiven – his sin removed.  But he wasn’t spared the consequences of his actions.  We may ask then, what good is forgiveness?  Forgiveness isn’t a fairy tale.  Forgiveness isn’t trivial.  It comes after sometimes horrible pain.  And sometimes it’s easier to forgive others.  At Bible Study on Thursday several joked, sincerely, that we have higher standards for forgiving ourselves than God does.  Yet, I find it helpful to remember that forgiveness does not erase what we have done, nor all the memories or pain.  And yet we are free.  We are not forever defined by what we did but by who we became.  Or rather, who we are becoming.  The poetry that grew out of David’s pain is some of the most beautiful of all times.  

God was angry, but it was for a moment.  God’s favor was for a lifetime.  As it says in Psalm 30, “I cried out for help and you healed me.  You pulled me up.  You changed my grief into dancing, you took off my funeral clothes and dressed me up in joy.  Yes, there is weeping at night, but joy does come in the morning.”  Do you see?  That’s what forgiveness is good for.  Is there something for which you are ready to be honest?