Make Love the Story: Jonathan and David

In the middle of stories about wars and death is a surprisingly tender story of two warriors.  Read it 2nd Samuel

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Transcript

Sermons from 

Mission Hills UCC

San Diego, California

Rev. Dr. David Bahr

david.bahr@missionhillsucc.org

July 14, 2024

“Make Love the Story”

2nd Samuel 1: 25-27 – Common English Bible

Look how the mighty warriors have fallen in the midst of battle!

    Jonathan lies dead on your heights.

26 I grieve for you, my brother Jonathan!

    You were so dear to me!

    Your love was more amazing to me than the love of women.

27 Look how the mighty warriors have fallen!

    Look how the weapons of war have been destroyed!

If you think about it, there are not a lot of love stories in the Bible.  I was curious so I googled “love stories in the Bible.”  The Bible Society listed eight, none of which, in my opinion, quite resemble a love story.  Frankly, their list is bizarre.

• First, Adam and Eve.  The Bible Society’s explanation of their great love story is that “they were content to be with just each other.”  As if there were anyone else!
• Next on their list, Abraham and Sarah, which they explained was because she loved him so much she let him sleep with Hagar so he could have a child – no kidding.  Which, as you know, eventually made Sarah so jealous she had Hagar and child banished to the wilderness where they would die of hunger and thirst, except for the intervention of an angel.  So far, not such a great list.
• Next, I was surprised to see Jacob and his marriage to two women at the same time, sisters Leah and Rachel.  What kind of love story is this!?  
• King David made the list twice – although with only two of his eight wives.  The first was his marriage to Michal, to whom he was married as second prize after Saul broke his promise about David marrying his first daughter.  We are told she loved him until she quite famously loathed the very sight of him.  King David is listed the second time for his relationship with Bathsheba, whom he first saw when spying on her from his rooftop.  He summoned her, she got pregnant, so he had her husband killed to get him out of the way.  Yes, that’s the classic stuff of biblical romance novels.  Break out the chocolates and Champagne.

Enough of that list!  But not surprisingly, there was no mention of the story of one of the greatest loves in the Bible:  Jonathan and David.

David and Jonathan were first introduced on the day David carried the severed head of giant Goliath to King Saul.  Saul was Jonathan’s father.  The Book of 1st Samuel chapter 18 begins, “As soon as David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan’s soul became bound up with David’s soul, and Jonathan loved David as much as himself.”  Saul then told David to stay instead of returning to his family.  The next verse says, “And Jonathan and David made a covenant together because Jonathan loved David as much as himself.  Jonathan took off his robe and gave it to David, along with his armor, sword, bow, and his belt.”

Twice in three verses, “Jonathan loved David as much as himself.”  Those are not words used in scripture very often.  And not just admired, “Jonathan’s soul became bound up with David’s soul.”  And it’s certainly unusual to describe a covenant in the Bible based on love.  “Jonathan and David made a covenant together because Jonathan loved David as much as himself.”  Most covenants were transactional and marriages were more like business deals.  Few of them were described as having anything to do with love.  And then finally, as a sign of their covenant, as if a ritual, Jonathan took off his robe and presented it to David, along with his armor, sword, bow, and belt – a symbolic act of ultimate vulnerability.

This doesn’t mean they were lovers in the way we think about it 2,500 years later.  This doesn’t mean they were gay in the way we think about it 2,500 years later.  But in a Bible with few similar examples of love and intimacy, boy, this sure stands out as significant.  In fact, it is the kind of covenantal love that we aspire to 2,500 years later.

And if we have any doubt that David felt the same way, in today’s passage, mourning his death, David said, “I grieve for you, my brother Jonathan!  You were so dear to me!  Your love was more amazing to me than the love of women.”  The stories in between are all filled with Jonathan’s attempts to protect David – a dangerous defiance of his father who is murderously jealous.  While David was in hiding, they often met secretly; tender scenes described in intimate ways.  When Saul discovered their relationship, he exploded in rage, “You son of a perverse, rebellious woman!  Do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness?”

Jonathan protected David at substantial risk to his own life because that’s the very covenant he promised – because he loved him.

Is theirs a story of love?  Yes, of course.  Is it a love story?  The attempts to downplay the significance of their relationship are predictable.  To their credit, most translations stay faithful to the line, “Your love was more amazing to me than the love of women.”  However, that same verse in one translation is:  “I enjoyed your friendship so much.”  Another, “As the mother loveth her only son, so did I love thee.”  What?!  

Even Eugene Peterson disappoints me here.  I usually like how he translates The Message, but he says, “Your friendship was a miracle-wonder, love far exceeding anything I’ve known— or ever hope to know.”  But no, verse 26 says, “your love was more wonderful than even that of women.”  Most translations get it right, but most commentators attempt to claim, with righteous indignation, that David and Jonathan are anything more than two good buddies.  Any suggestion of more is met with, “How dare you!”  Again, I’m not trying to make a comparison to our modern sensibilities, but…

I didn’t hear this story in Sunday School.  Did you?  Surprisingly, the first time I heard about Jonathan and David was from my mother.  I remember the exact moment, standing in front of the kitchen sink in our new home in Grand Forks.  It was the summer of my high school graduation.  I had been accepted into an international choir to tour Europe and sing in some of the most amazing venues, including the cathedral in Cologne.  The reverb in that place was nearly 10 seconds. 

Anyway, during our week of rehearsals, we got to know each other and quickly became friends for this adventure of a lifetime.  Along the way, there was one particular choir member to whom I felt a strong connection, unlike anything I had experienced before.  And to my surprise, the feeling was mutual.  

About two weeks in, on our first night in Paris, the group went on a river cruise and after dinner we would visit the Eiffel Tower.  I started having stomach pain during the cruise and it was decided I would stay behind in the hotel.  My friend asked to stay with me and sacrifice seeing the Eiffel Tower.  Doctors make house calls in France so one came to the hotel.  He couldn’t find anything wrong but an hour or two later it was much worse and another doctor was summoned.  He touched the right side of my abdomen and I shot up to the ceiling in pain.  

I did see the Eiffel Tower, in the far distance as we rushed by taxi to the hospital.  My friend came with me and held my hand all the way to the hospital and in the room as we waited.  My parents were called in the middle of the night to wire $2,000 so I could have surgery.  The next day the choir moved on to Belgium and my friend begged to stay, but the leaders wouldn’t let him.  But if I could get strong enough to fly in three days, I could return from Amsterdam with him and the group.  Believe me, I did.  

Our parents came to pick us up in Fargo and take us home.  We begged that they let him come home with me.  We explained that he could take the bus home a few days later – about six hours away.  Which means his parents made a 14 hour round trip to pick him up but returned home without him.  But they agreed.  And then, a few weeks later, as we stood in front of the kitchen window washing dishes, I begged my mom to let me take the bus to visit him.  She looked at me curiously and said, you two sound like Jonathan and David.  Who are they, I asked.  She explained that they were two friends in the Bible who had an extraordinarily close relationship.  I found my Bible and looked it up.  Wow!

It had only been about a month or two before that, also for the first time, I read a very different passage in the Bible.  I discovered the verse “Man shall not lie with man…”  It terrified me.  I was a teenager trying to put the pieces together about myself and this was absolutely not who I wanted to be.  That night I got down on my knees – on brown shag carpet in the basement – and prayed so hard that this would not be true.  And here we were, a few months later, and my mom told me about Jonathan and David.  At the time, I didn’t put two and two together.  But today I look back and marvel at how God works in our lives.  How God answered my prayer in such an unexpected and wonderful way.

I know others might not – or refuse to – see it in this way, but when I read the story of Jonathan and David it is like looking in a mirror and seeing myself reflected in scripture.  We may disagree about this interpretation, but just recognize that the covenant between David and Jonathan was based on love, an extraordinarily rare form of covenant between two people of any sex in the Bible.  Make love the story.  Read into it, don’t read into it, certainly it is more of a love story than Adam and Eve.

There’s one last piece to the story of Jonathan and David.  After he died, David didn’t just move on and forget Jonathan.  A phase, a memory from his youth.  Jonathan had a disabled son; he was paraplegic.  David took him in and raised him as his own son.  “For the sake of your father, Jonathan, you will always eat at my table.”  Their souls were indeed knit together both in life and in death.

On this Sunday before Pride, I hope this inspires you to remember that the Bible is so much more than the passages used like weapons to hurt and divide.  As hate-filled demonstrators line the parade route trying to denigrate and demean same-gender loving people, you know that even in the Bible, love comes in so many more forms than anyone can imagine.  Because truly, in God’s house, love is love is love.